Call centers - any insiders care to share what really goes on?

[LivePsy]

Hi All,

Just had 2 days of call center horror. I am sure there's a whole psychology and tactics to managing callers to the point that they shoot themselves. Some things I note:

* You are placed on hold to slow you down and are more 'pliable' by the time a human speaks to you.
* Voice menus are designed to similarly put you in a submissive state, because you have to say what it wants to hear and won't forward you unless you play along. I also think they detect your mood from your voice and act aoordingly.
* You can be given phone numbers which don't actually work if you want to complain about the process.
* You can be put on permanent hold because they can't do anything about your problem - you will eventually hang up.

You'd think I must be a nightmare caller but I am reasonable and patient. Are there any insiders who can tell us the tactics call centers use? How much does an operator know about your previous calls? Can you be flagged as a nightmare person and they won't pick you up in the queue, or you get mysteriously disconnected? Can they really refer to an earlier call you made if you believe the process was not satisfatory?

Yeah, what really goes on in a call center?
B

[LivePsy]

An example of call center payback: please replace the word "mobile" with "cell phone" if applicable in your area.

A mate of mine (honest, it wasn't me) used his mobile as a broadband modem for his notebook and got a $300 bill for 12 minutes access to hotmail. He called up the call center and the operator didn't like him being annoyed that you can get a charge like that without any warning. I was there at the time, and he wan't being unreasonable or insulting. But the operator didn't like it and he changed the free call hour on the mobile so me mate got a big bill the following month for calls that normally would have been free.

I knew immediately that the operator did this to pay him back. Funny thing was, the call center didn't charge him for the calls describing it as an error in their system. They knew exactly what was going on I think this is an example of tactics to get back at customers.

B

[Old Vantaa Man]

Busy call centres have an army of very underpaid workers called Assistants. If they do well in the first 6 weeks - good attendance, low customer refunds - they get promoted to Senior Assistant with a small pay rise. These are the people you are put through to after the Assistant gives up. After Senior Assistant, you may become a Supervisor. Then a Senior Supervisor. By now, you're well on the way to becoming a Junior Manager. By the time you become a Senior Product Manager you have even more contempt for your fellow workers and yourself that any arsehole customer who dares to get through to you can fuck right off.

I hate the whole "Customer Care" facade. Thankfully the Finns don't go in for it, nor do they expect it. If you've got a genuine complaint, they'll usually deal with it without much fucking around. The Brits, however, are the biggest wankers I've ever seen. I remember us laughing at our fist electricity bill which had "We Care About You" blazed at the top. In the fucking supermarket they bombard you with placards telling you what great value everything is and how fucking special you are. There's even some poor cunt at the entrace in a ridiculous uniform to welcome you with a fucking smile to the shop! Fuck off and leave me alone! It was a shock when the checkout woman asked me if I needed any help packing my bags.. It's some bread and a six-pack ffs! But, you know, you start to feel like you've actually got some POWER after a while. You become used to looking down on them. Yeah. I'm the fucking king. Pack my bags. It's all part of the dumbing down process that is needed to make you into SUPER CONSUMER.

I found it would freak call centres out if I started with "Sorry, could you give me your name please?" Check the spelling and then ask, "And do you mind if I record this call for future reference, Ms Smith? OK. Fine. Could you just state the day and date and the time for me, please? And you are authorised to speak on behalf of Southern Electricity Ltd, are you? Then repeat the important things they say "So you're saying that you will not give me a refund, is that right. OK. Thanks very much Ms Smith." Always remain calm and perfectly mannered. If you know 100% you're in the right take your recording to a lawyer and SUE!

[LivePsy]

Aussie call centres love to tell your their first name and where they are located. Not that you can necessarily believe a thing, how many offices have a bogus name so when you mention it they know you are a first time caller? I know lots of ticketing staff in box offices and they hate people and are all Cancerians. OK, that's a generalisation but startlingly accurate beyond random chance.

[Old Vantaa Man]

Hmm, predominance of particular astrological groups with professions..

I must know more.. As I'm really busy today and should be preparing for an important meeting, I'll now spend the next hour clicking on internet links in a focused quest for useless knowledge.

Edit: Fuck this. First search results reveal that astrologers are off their heads.

[AlexHall74]

OK, My agency runs a very large and sophisticated call center for people that are recipients of public health care services, as well as providers of services. I'll try to get some info from them on common AVRS (Automated Voice Response System?) configuration/tactics.

I can tell you for sure Dell's call center is architected and run by Satan and the lowest of his minions.

[AlexHall74]

Originally Posted by LivePsy

Aussie call centres love to tell your their first name and where they are located. Not that you can necessarily believe a thing, how many offices have a bogus name so when you mention it they know you are a first time caller? I know lots of ticketing staff in box offices and they hate people and are all Cancerians. OK, that's a generalisation but startlingly accurate beyond random chance.

Sprint billed me $600 for my cell phone bill in the first month of my contract 8 years ago. When we signed up, the highschool aged sales kid told us that "Sprint to Sprint" calls were free. My wife and I both got a Sprint phone so we happily called each other on them throughout that month. Then the $600 bill. I went to the Sprint store in town and asked to speak with a supervisor. This guy said "Sure thing, Sir" and walked me to the back of the store and asked me to step into this little room with a red phone on the wall, and then tried to close the door on me, isolating me from the potential customers (aka future victims) on the sales floor. I said "What the hell is this? Do you seriously think I'm going to sit here in your little isolation room as if I have Ebola virus and wait patiently on your red phone for someone to tell me I'm screwed?" Then he tried to calm me down and asked me to relax and I promptly declined and announced to all on the sales floor that they will be charged $600 for using their "FREE" Sprint to Sprint" calls if they sign up.

The call I made to the call center was even more of a psychological mind fuck. The staff would not give me their full names, only their first names (this guy's name was "John"), and I asked how the hell I was supposed to hold them accountable if I could not reference them specifically to their supervisor, and he said that he was the only "John" at "Bender 6." I asked what the fuck "Bender 6" was and he told me it was the name of the call center he worked at, and I asked where that was and was told that information was not released either. They have pissed so many people off that they isolate themselves like they are the fucking CIA or something. Unbelievable. "The customer is always right?" BULLSHIT!

When I did get to talk to a "Supervisor" he basically told me that despite being misinformed by the salesperson I was legally obligated to pay the $600 and that it would go to collections if I did not. I told him that Sprint would never see that money from me, that I did not give a shit about being sent to collections because I didn't need credit, and that he could go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. I will never in my life give one penny of my money to Sprint, Embarq, or any of their unethical blood-sucking subsidiaries.

My call to the Dell call center was even more unbelievable. I'll dig up the e-mail that I got from their senior manager tomorrow at the office...

[LivePsy]

Yes, you soon realise that you have no power. It appears to be all about you, but it isn't at all. My phone has been 'migrated' and I have no internet access even though I upped the plan for my holidays. But nothing can fix it.

Cheers,
B