Developmental Milestone...

[AlexHall74]

Greets fellow Sickos,

Guess what I just got to deliver? My 6 year old has been asking me and my wife to have a talk about "curse words." We've been avoiding the conversation for about a year now (which means we'll have the birds and the bees talk when the kids are 30).

So, it's bed time and my daughter asks me about curse words. She told me she knew what "ass" meant. From there we discussed curse words and "cussing." At the end of that talk I realized she also had heard "bitch," "piss," and "shit," at school.

I am still white in complexion and my blood pressure is low. Anyone else lived through this? What do you say when they ask when you'll be discussing the "other curse words" with them???

<SHOCK!>

-Alex

[3o3]

It felt like yesterday when Nova was still just a baby but I've realised the last few months that those babydays are long gone by now. She talks really good nowadays but she hasn't said any curse-words yet but as I really should wash me mouth with soap more she will probably start in a few years.

Anyways, My mother and father was pretty shocked when I was around 3-4 years old and got home from daycare and I wanted to play but dinner was ready and I had to eat I got angry and started yell -"Jäääla mora!!" too everyone that passed me by.. My father and mother got really upset and later learnt that the older kids had tought me quite some nasty words ("Jäääla mora! = Daaarn' hore!). I didn't say it perfect and most people didn't understand what I meant when I said as most people thought that I said "Mommy" ("Mor" = Mom. Hora = Whore).

Anyways mate. It's cool that you daughter asks you about these things instead of learning the meaning of them by her friend instead from you guys (and therefor learn that some of the words are really bad!). I am hoping Nova will be the same and I do agree with you; Flowers, bees is a banned subject until Nova turns atleast +30. But Ausa says that is wrong! Hoho

[Juho L]

I have a good solution to all these "kids ask" dilemmas: Stop lying to the fucking children!

What's cussing? It's saying something to show your anger, but it's highly inappropriate, so avoid saying those words in public.
What's a whore? It's a woman who sells sex to other people, usually to men.
What's fucking? It's a process of reproduction but also a very powerful cussing word.
What's a dick? Daddy has one. It's a penis.

"Oh my god, why should I tell my kids these kinds of things?". Well, that way they know what they mean and don't call their mother a fucking dick in front of gramps and granny. The child could call the disliked auntie a stinking whore, but hey, somebody had to say it eventually. Easy!

Children are people. They think and they do what their own mind tells them to. Don't tinker around with their minds. Don't raise children, raise human beings, damnit!

Edit: And you know guys, if you don't tell your children about sex when their puberty starts, I'm coming there and hit you with a big rubber dick and make you tell. Hoho.

[AlexHall74]

Hey Sebastian, That's crazy you were yelling "Damn whore!" because you wanted to play but had to sit for dinner. I was the same way Bro, I cursed like a sailor by the time I was 5. I said "shit" when I was 2 because my brother coached me for hours, and to his evil delight became quite good at saying it. Heather and I cleaned our mouths up BIG TIME when we had kids and I can definitley tell that is why neither of our children have been cussing their little heads off. Everytime the relatives come for a visit though they hear something naughty because the relatives haven't had little kids in the house for awhile!

Juho, I totally agree with you regarding telling kids the truth about the world. Both of my kids knew that there were evil people in the world who could try and take them from mommy and Daddy and do horrible things to them and maybe kill them. Both of them have asked us about adult things they heard on the news like drug busts and missing people that turned uo murdered and we have told them all about these things. I am not one to fill a kids mind with fairy tale bullshit which skews their understanding of reality. So, don't be a presumptious fucker, I can still be a truthful parent but not like having to teach my kids about cursing. Keep that rubber dick in Vantaa Bro!!!

I'm essentially a big advocate of education and science and learning in general. My Mom reared me through Catholic catechism and I had throw aside the foolishness of fearing going to hell and the devil coming to get me and all that non-sense. I'll not dump that on my kids, and I'll be sure they know what is good and what is bad, curse words and all. How they choose to use it is up to them.

The funniest part of the conversation I had was providing an example of how each curse word is used. She asked me if the word "bitch" was only used as a bad word for girls. I said "No, sometimes guys will call another guy a bitch when that person is being a whiner or a sissy about something." She laughed. I bet she will call some boy at her school a bitch one day!



Time to go to the gym! YAY! It's bench press and tricep day! Yahooo!!!

[jasedee]

Tell those little fuckers to shut the fuck up and figure it out themselves!



Or leave it to the missus and crack open another beer. Both good suggestions I reckon

[3o3]

Juho: Nova isn't that old for "_all_" the truth. I will tell her everything she wants to know when she grows older but there are some things that I will keep for myself! Ye olde Santa is alive according to me (and Nova) and there is a man in the moon. Good "lies" so to speak.

Alex: How did ya succeed in keepin' the yeller quiet then? I still swear alot infront of Nova whenever I get upset or whatever but I usually use words like "Damn", "Crap", "Piss", "Shit".. The kindest of them all swearwords around. I wouldn't mind if Nova said; "SHIT!!" when she got upset but I'd probably be abit angry if she came and said; "Damn whore" when she's 3.

I got my swearing habbits from 2 older brothers I think - and hanging out with the older kids than me.. I watched loads of horror/action-movies as a youngster and had my private stash of porno at a pretty young age aswell (Ausa was pretty chocked when she heard when I got my first pornomagazine). Great stuff indeed but then again, I am the one having severe anxienty nowadays so.. Hoho

[Juho L]

Originally Posted by 3o3

Ye olde Santa is alive according to me (and Nova) and there is a man in the moon. Good "lies" so to speak.

Classic Santa lie is understandable, but what the heck is a man in the moon lie?

but I'd probably be abit angry if she came and said; "Damn whore" when she's 3.

Angry for her because she said something she thought was ok and was not actually aware what it meant?

[AlexHall74]

Sebastian, I guess fear of embarassment is what tamed my wife and my use of profanity in out house. Also, I am a big believer that sometimes we (humans) do things out of habit very easily. Good habits seem harder to form and easier to break; bad habits form easily and usually take awhile to break. I want my kids to know what curse words are and what they mean by the time they are five or six like my eldest, Anja; I want them to have a natural habit of speaking in a polite manner, which they do. If they choose to say "shit!" or "damn it!" when they get angry and they do it at home, I will not chastise them as they did it at home, no harm no foul; if they do it at the grocery store I'll have a little talk with them.

The grocery store is always a potential place of embarassment with your kids, no matter how polite they are. Kids are honest, BRUTALLY HONEST. Anja asked me when ashe was two: "Daddy, why are we in the aisle where all the wine is again?" <Ooops!> Once, she also told me (very loudly) that a woman right next to us was fat and that she probably ate too much. Oww! From the mouths of babes...

So, everybody watch their motherfuckin' language, OK? No more goddman cursing, alright? Shit!

[3o3]

Originally Posted by Juho L

Classic Santa lie is understandable, but what the heck is a man in the moon lie?

We watched an documentary about the moon since Nova loves the moon and wants by a homebuilt spacerocket travel there someday. It was about the first man on the moon and Nova was all over the place that it was humans on the moon and she said that she really wanted to travel there and eat cookies and drink tea with the man on the moon.

Later we watched some cartoon that was about the moon aswell and the moon was a gaint humanface and Nova started once again saying that we needed to go the moon and have cookies and tea with the man on the moon. And she has already packed her backpack with extra clothes, some toys as the man in the moon loves to play, plates, forks, spoons, cups and everything else that is needed for our small picnic on the moon.

Originally Posted by Alex

BRUTALLY HONEST

Aye! They sure are honest but isn't all bad! Sure, Nova has done a few things that made both me and Ausa turn lobster-redish. We were in the store and a man with a large beard passed us by and Nova started to scream so everyone in the shop heard her; "SANTA CLAUS!!! NOVA HAS BEEN NICE I WANT PRESENTS!!!" and another time when we were in same store she saw a dark lady that looked that she was from India and Nova watched her for like 5 minutes before she started to laugh and screamed; "I WANNA PET THE MONKEY" all while making monkey-sounds "Oh", "Ah", "Uha-ahahaha" and jumping around in the store.. That was really akward for us.

[Old Vantaa Man]

I swear around the kids when it's necessary.

"Whaa? You said you could fucking shift these fucking E's at school. Right. mini skirt on young lady and don't come back without a fucking Grand."

But seriously. Swear. They should get it from the horse's mouth.