[FloatingPoint]

So I placed my pre-order nearly two months ago and I've been waiting patiently all this time. Not a peep. Not a harsh word. But I think now it's about time that those arrogant Teutonic pricks get a good old-fashioned verbal ass-whuppin'.

Unlike most of you, I've never owned an Access product before so I don't have any sentimental notions of "loyalty" to some more-or-less faceless corporation. Where this notion of loyalty comes from is beyond me--You're PAYING them for their products for chrissakes. It's not like they're doing this out of the kindness of their hearts and giving away synths to all the legless orphans or whatever. It's a sign of how truly pathetic the audio hardware industry has become that just because Access in the past did a relatively competent job and felt a modicum of responsibility to the people (YOU) who put bread on their tables that they've earned this slavish sense of loyalty. Any company in a legitimate industry where there is actually something like COMPETITION--say, automobiles, or personal computers--that behaved the way Access has behaved through this TI fiasco would be laughed out of the business.

It's become apparent that the December "release date" was a total fabrication and they had no intention of honoring it from the get-go. I mean, what, they've only programmed a portion of the wavetables so far, and it's already late January? So how many did they have programmed in November when they made the announcement? Probably a handful would be my guess. And it's apparent that they're having SERIOUS trouble with the integration process. If they're having SERIOUS trouble NOW (a month after the announced release) then surely they were having SERIOUS trouble back in November--or they were so early in the game that they couldn't have had a realistic idea of how long it would take finish. I mean, they couldn't even put on a public demo at NAMM? Apple put on a public demo of Ultrabeat and Sculpture SIX MONTHS before they were released. GMedia had demos up for Minimonsta ages ago and did a public demo at NAMM. Their release date is March 7th! Do you think the TI will be ready by then? If so, I have a bridge to sell you.

Doesn't such a blatant instance of shameless bullsh-tting bother you? And if not, why not? Loads of people sold their old hardware so they could buy this thing and now they're stuck with their d--ks in their hands for months on end.

Second, it's laughable that people are making excuses for them like, "Access is attempting something never attempted before!!!! Total Integration!!!!! Give them a break!!!"

Oh God, give ME a break. They're RUNNING A PLUG-IN THROUGH AN OUTBOARD DSP for Pete's sake. Sorry to break it to you, but it's been done! By Powercore and UAD to name a couple. The only difference is that there's a controller attached, and an audio interface, but we're not talking about any truly revolutionary technology here--just existing technologies being put together in a novel way.

And even if there IS some justification for the delay, there is NO justification whatsoever for their silence and secrecy. I went ahead and placed the pre-order because of Access's reputation for reliability and customer service. Well, I hope THAT particular myth has now been thoroughly and completely demolished. This is the worst behavior I've ever seen in the industry--they're making Clavia seem professional, which is saying something. And don't even get me started on plug-in makers--any plug-in maker that pulled a stunt like this would have their ass handed to them by the competition.

And as for how AWESOME it's going to sound . . . well, granted, it probably will. Or maybe it won't. It'll still sound like a Virus, which is nice, but, you know, kind of . . . stale, at this point, having been heard on countless dance tracks for the last few years. The really awesome sounds come from creative use of filters, effects, compression, etc. In any event---HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW? Since they can't even be assed to put up an MP3. What, is it so buggy that they can't even manage a ten second clip before the thing sputters and seizes up?

Man, when I think of the stuff I could buy with that money . . . a Sherman filtertank, a Minimonsta, and a Nord G2 Rack! You mean to tell me that the TI will afford me greater musical creativity and quality than a setup like THAT?

Anyway, rant finished. But I think it's time to wake up from the marketing hype-induced dream and see that the Emperor, if not exactly nude, is very shabbily dressed.