Your two are at school now Alex? How old are they? OMG..
Dude, it's the Bigsby B5 Telecaster model - LIKE IN THE FUCKING LINKS ABOVE. It ain't no Floyd Rose, you can't divebomb on it , but it does do up and down. And after I'VE installed it, side to side too probably..
Debauchery you're after? Drive to your relatives' place in Kansas and do a deal:
http://www.porkystruckstop.com/images/32_004.jpg