[Old Vantaa Man]

Fertile as you? IN YOUR DREAMS, HALL. You got your bollox chopped a coupla years ago. As did I.

Here's Tom Waits on the matter:

Actually, the question I get asked the most is... and somebody today, just... I mean, out of the clear blue sky, somebody came up to me and said 'Tom, is it possible for a girl to get pregnant without intercourse?' I get that all the time. I mean, I get asked that all the time! Anyway... I said, for the answer to this we're gonna have to go all the way back to the civil war. Apparently a stray bullet... This is the truth! A stray bullet actually pierced the testicle of a Union soldier, and then it went on to lodge itself in the ovaries of an eighteen year old girl who was standing two hundred, maybe three hundred feet from him at the time. They'd never even met! How's that for luck! Anyway, you know, she was very happy of course, cause there was something kind of immaculate about the conception, and she did a lot of interviews and that type of thing, and people flew in, and she was on the cover of a lot of magazines at the time. The baby was healthy. Of course, the soldier was pissed off, wouldn't you be? It's actually a FORM of intercourse, but I don't think it's for everybody. Unless you like action. I like action! This is a little song about eh... I got it right out of the encyclopedia..."

Other Tom stuff:

http://www.esenov.com/1w.htm