[3o3]

My worst experience was on benzo (of course). I went over to a friend to have a drink and just talk as he was going to Thailand/China/PNG and would be gone for about ~1 year or so.

Anyways, I didn't feel so good at the way over to him (my agoraphobia and anxientyproblems) so I took 2 pills as the doctor had ordered me to do whenever I felt bad. It took about 5 minutes until the pills kicked in..

It felt better but still not great so I took one more (which was the 'maximum' dosage every 5-6 hours). It felt great.. We talked for an hour or so..

Then it's all black from there.. I woke up the next day in jail.. Noone would speak to me, noone would tell me whatever I was accused of.. After spending another ~12 hours in jail a policeofficer came and said; You're up in the next couple of hours.. be ready..

Be ready for what? As he didn't seem that happy to see me I got kinda scared that I might acctually got a bad beating.
But it was just to tell me what I was accused of aswell as to hear my story..

Anyways the kinda innocent story;

After about an hour or so talking to my friend, all of the sudden I had said to my him; I really feel.. weird.. I gotta throwup.. I think..

I went into the bathroom and 1 hour later and still not a single sound from the bathroom my friend decided it was time to acctually see what was going on. He opened the door and found me just sitting on the floor looking and.. nothing basicly. He got me some water and asked how I felt and my reply was everything but normal and it went something like this; "One.. Flies by.. of time... itself..". I was really calm and cool but I couldn't speak..

My friend decided it was time for some tea and sugar to get me to feel better.. During this time I had went out in -25 C without a jacket or shoes. When he noticed me gone, he ran out and didn't find me until he heard shattering windows and he found me smashing a securitydoor with my hands (3-4 cm glass and wire.. crushed with my bare hands!).

Anyways, he decided that it was time to call the ambulance -> He ran home and while he did that I "found" a person which I beat up pretty bad and went back to smashing a pizzeria. I got into the place and started to smash the whole place up. I put chairs in the owen and so on.. It was chaos..

I was trying to get home when a busdriver refused to stop (as it was in the middle of the road). I beat him up aswell.. hanging from the outside of the bus (think; actionmovie featuring Jean Claude Van Damme). I waved him in and he stopped to ask what was wrong and all I said was; Take me home.. He said that "This isn't a bussstop and besides.. that's way off my route!) when I jumped at him and got hold of his _face_ (I was climbing onto holding his face and nothing else). He started to drive when we reached ~40-50 km/h I fell off and into a bush..

After that I was going back to my friend when the first person I beat up came by again with his friends.. I beat him up once more and his family came by as I.. threated them so they fled the area.

Now the pizzeriaowner had come by (as the alarm had gone off while I was smashing the place up). I chased him for about ~5 minutes or so when the first policecar arrived.

They released the dog at me and as the dog bit me I beat that aswell.. The dog let me loose and didn't reply. They called for backup and more cars arrived, one police tried pepperspray on me without no effect whatsoever. I just said; You done a big mistake now and I grabbed him and we got into a fight. Now it was ~11 policecars (= 22 policemen), 4 dogs and finally it arrived another policevan so it was 17 policeofficers at the scene.

I jumped up on a policecar (as I had free'd myself from 2 policemen trying to hold me down). I smashed the windows and lights on the car. The police fired a warningshot (as they have to do in Sweden before they take you out). I didn't reply or did anything other than just looked at them trying to attack them (I mean.. what the hell!).

The policeofficer I had attack first lowered his weapon screaming; I will shot (he was the one firing the warningshot aswell), I WILL SHOT! I started to walk towards him.. He aimed at me and was stopped that my friend found us, screaming "don't shot him.. don't shot him!" and he explained that I took medicine against bla bla bla.. They decided that if they all would "attack" me I wouldn't stand a chance.

They was quite right, but I put up a good fight as it took almost 30 minutes to get me secured..

And that's the most innocent story I could tell you about that evening..

The prosecutor wanted me in jail for this; 4-8 years. As it seemed that once I was in the bathroom I finished _all_ of my pills (~70-80 benzo pills!). I didn't remember a thing from the night!

I got 15.000:- SEK in fines, 2 year probation and stuff like that as the pizzeria decided not to press charges and all of the people I beat didn't press charges either as they felt bad for what happened but they understood (how they now can do that) what I was going throw. I was only charged with beating the police and smashing one of their cars!

I haven't done a single pill of benzo after that incident; I came home and flushed all my remaining pills and burnt the papers I had to get more and then I had this personal hell for a year and still feel that I want more benzo from time to time.

Onkel: Christiania? How is that place nowadays?