The Unofficial Access Virus & Virus TI Forum - since 2002

Hello chums. Well, I?ve finally got a new spiffy fast interwebs connection, so I thought it an appropriate opportunity to talk shit and post something instantly forgettable. Matty?s memorable musical events of the 80?s. Or at least things I can remember about the 80?s..

Japan, Manchester Apollo, 1981
When me and my old pals here at the nursing home sit down in the evening with a nice cup of rosie and some Rich Tea biccies (that?s all they let us have these days. Apparently, the drains are always clogged for days if they give us Digestives. Bastards. I know they?ve got Hob Nobs in there), err, what was I talking about? Right. When me and my old pals here at the nursing home sit down in the evening with a nice cuppa and some Rich Tea and get to talking about BACK IN THE DAY, someone will surely, and I mean certainly, bring this one up. Japan. What a band. Kids today ought to be tied to a chair and made to listen to Tin Drum. When you listen to Mick Karn play his bass on the records, well... When you fucking SEE him live, ooops, excuse me, I think I?ve pissed in this armchair again, he was fucking unbelievable. The man had his fretless bass strapped on down to his knees, played with just two fingers and NEVER ONCE took his eyes off the audience. The bloke who played bass with 80?s twat Paul Young totally ripped of Karn?s style and wasn?t a patch on him. 80?s synth lovers. You must listen to Tin Drum. David Sylvian?s solo album Secrets from the Beehive is worth a listen, too.

Todd Rundgren, Manchester Apollo, 1980
This was the 2nd time I?d seen Todd. First time was a year or so earlier when he played at Knebworth supporting Led Zep (just thought I?d get that one in. They weren?t that good anyway). Todd?s a fucking genius and Mac user as we all know and this tour came on the back of my favourite album of his, ?Healing.? Perhaps his only all synth album? I remember this gig cos I took a very nice young lady along with me and got to shag her afterwards. So?

Shakatak, Manchester Poly, 1982
Sometimes you see an act that takes you completely by surprise. This was one. We went there out of sheer boredom and the prospect of cheap beer in the Student?s Union and ended up shaking our arses all night to this Scottish jazz funk combo. We heard the band got busted for coke after this gig and that might explain why they were so brilliant! Great night.

Deeply Vale Festival, Lancashire, June 1980
Oh, my brothers. This 3 day extravaganza was an eye-opener in more ways than one. Hippy convoys of freak busses, Hell?s Angels, punks, cops getting chased off the site, free bands playing all night and acid at ?2.50 a hit. Me and my mate Chris scraped together enough to buy one and split it. We thought it might make us feel, well, we had no fucking idea how it would make us feel. Enough to say that over the following 12 hours I met the entire crew of The Enterprise, the Dalai Lama and got an extensive, full-colour tour of the universe. Life has never been the same since really. Never did tell me dad..

Miles Davis, Printemps de Bourges, 1983
In 82 and 83 I hitched-hiked all over Europe and got a job for the winter washing dishes in this little town called Bourges. I didn?t know it at the time, but every spring it hosts one of the biggest music festivals in France (or at least it used to). Well, I was given a free ticket to see Miles Davis by some old woman in her 40?s who ran this record shop and was after jumping my fit young body. Needless to say I fucking grabbed the ticket and slipped away. Haha! So. There were about 3000 people in this massive marquee and eventually the band comes on. What a collection. Mike Stern on guitar, Marcus Miller on bass, Al Johnson drums, David Sanbourne sax and some bloke on congas and whatnot. They?d played for some 15 minutes before on strolled His Holiness Miles in a one-piece black leather outfit with massive shoulder pads, platform boots, wrap-around shades and pork-pie hat. The first thing he does is blast out the most amazing solo I have ever heard to this day with one hand playing his trumpet and the other playing a keyboard. He kept his back to the audience throughout the whole show and the band never once took a break between, err, songs? After 2 hours (!) they stop, Miles turns round, lowers his shades, scans the audience and then walks off, followed by the band! There was a full minute before anyone even clapped, total shell-shock. Then the place went fucking mental for about an hour but he wouldn?t do an encore, the old cunt. House (tent?) lights go on but people just would not leave. I seriously thought a riot was going to start, but thankfully everyone cooled down and the whole audience went out that night on the town and it was a magic night indeed my brothers.

Jethro Tull, King Crimson, Neil Young, Goldener Oktober Festival, Wiesbaden 1982.
Not just the music made this one to remember. Oh no! There were some 10,000 US troops stationed in this part of Germany at the time. and fuck me, what a mixed bunch this festival crowd was. German punks and anarchists mingling with stars and bars waving hardcore redneck US military personnel. I?d never liked Jethro Tull, but they were quite good on the day I have to say. However, then came King Crimson. Now then. Line up was Robert Fripp, Adrian Belew, Bill Bruford and Tony Levin playing that 27 string bass thing of his with both hands on the fretboard. Their opening, err, number was this massive 20 minute weird feedback tapeloop sort of thing. Well! That got the troops in the right mood. ?WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?? was the sort of critique one could overhear. The rest of the public seemed rather impressed though. Me especially. KC was one of the best ever. As if that wasn?t enough, Neil Young was the headline. Oh my. On he comes and blasts through all his heavy songs looking like Jack Torrence having a bad day at the Overlook Hotel. I have never seen anyone who can strangle a guitar into such total submission. The place went wild and even the marines were impressed. Lawdy. It was a belting hot day too despite being in October and to my lasting shame I necked the whole plastic pint of beer that some girl offered me a sip of. Shame, shame, shame.

Grateful Dead, Rainbow Theatre London, April 23rd, 1981.
Early 1981. The Grateful Dead were coming. The one and only Dead, surrounded by myth and legend, acid tests in the 60?s, one of the greatest bands of a very few of that generation. This was not one to miss. So, we booked tickets as soon as they went on sale, rented a Transit van and 10 of us piled in the back and drove down to London to laugh at the jellied eel scoffing cockney wankers and check out the show. Oh my oh my. It was the first Dead show in Europe for many years and there was a packed house for this, the first night of a 3-night engagement at The Rainbow. We had good seats upstairs and were all feeling, umm, laid back when on strolled Jerry and the boys. It?s hard to describe a Grateful Dead concert but they could play so softly and quietly and then just as you move a little in your seat they?d just explode as if they were reacting to you! With every other band, you follow their mood, but with the Dead it was completely the other way around. They were the tightest band and everyone in the place just became like, telepathic, dude. But seriously, The Dead could improvise over any part of any song for as long as, err, you, err, or they wanted. I don?t think any of their records captured what an awesome unit they were live. I saw them again when they came back in September of that year, but it wasn?t the same. One of my mates was in the psycho ward with a smack problem, 2 of us had been busted and the gang was drifting apart.

The Hacienda, Manchester, 1987/88
For a few years in the 80?s I wasn?t interested in going to see many bands. I sort of regret not going to see The Smiths, but I hated all the teeny-screaminess surrounding Morrisey. One gig I tried to get into was The B52?s but it was sold out. We went down on the night but the place was teeming and people were even climbing up onto the roof trying to sneak a peek. And so, disappointed but determined to get that gig feeling, me and my girlfriend went home and squeezed into a tiny wardrobe which we?d filled with damp jackets and cigarette smoke and yelled ?Can you see anything?? into each others ears as we spilled beer over each other. But on the whole, if I saw any live event in the mid 80?s it was pub bands or, umm, on TV. That was until the club scene in Manchester went mad. And for a while, that meant the one and only Hacienda. Oh yes, my brothers. Repeat after me: A-CIIIIIIIIID! Yowza! The whole town was going acid house crazy. After all the ******* **** years of Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran, Simple Minds, Ultravox, Human League, Pet Shop Boys, Culture Club, it was total fucking joy to rave all night to the most thumping beat in history. There?s always been a great dance scene in the north of England. Even when I was 12 every disco was packed with little kids dancing to Motown and Northern Soul. The Wigan Casino was world famous. I?d been waiting years for this and by the looks of it, so had a few others. There were coaches of people coming from all over the place, Yorkshire, Wales. I?d stopped going by the time it closed down. Too much drug dealing and guns put the mockers on it. Last time I went they wouldn?t let me in cos I was wearing trainers! Thank you and goodnight. Check the Steve Coogan film 24-Hour Party People for the story of this place and Manchester.

Fugazi, Efenaar Club, Eindhoven,1989
On a trip over to Holland one weekend me and my pals just had to go to Eindhoven to see Fugazi. We didn?t have tickets and neither did hundreds of people outside. Now, I am a patient boy. I wait I wait I wait I wait, but they wouldn?t let us in. So, in the time-honoured manner of our fathers and their fathers before them trying to get into a club, someone forced the emergency exit. Holland is a magic place. Everyone?s dead cool, you can buy dope, ride a funky old bike through the centre of town with your gay lover sat on the back and nobody gives a flying fuck. For Pete?s sakes, you can even get well-made reasonably-priced pancakes or even mayonnaise on your chips. So, we did feel a bit bad that someone had felt it necessary to resort to force, but it had been a long drive. Fugazi are one of those bands you can?t help but be blown away by. Drrrrrinkkk-dinkkk-dinkk-dink. Denk. Denk-denk. DANKDANKDANKDANK-DANK etc. This band pissed on all that stuff out of Seattle that followed imho. Why were they never dead famous? Cos they told MTV to fuck off! I think Cobain couldn?t live with that, that?s why he topped himself.

The Fall, Stockport College, December 1979
It?s not 80?s but fuck off. I?ll probably never get another chance to blag about smoking a j with Mark Smith...

Right. I?ve had enough of this post, and I?m sure I?m not the only one. Nice weekend everyone.